


distinctly not murdery

by Skyuni123



Series: 17 (should have been 25 but i messed up) Days of a Self-Flagellating Christmas [15]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Author's Favorite, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Sharing Clothes, Storms, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 06:03:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13093947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyuni123/pseuds/Skyuni123
Summary: Dirk and Todd in a rainstorm.





	distinctly not murdery

The idea of ‘staying in and watching a movie with a friend’ is all well and good until that friend is Dirk Gently and his idea of ‘staying in’ is sitting still for five minutes and then loudly proclaiming that ‘the universe needs him’ and talking over all of the dialogue.

 

Todd pauses Netflix for the fifth time in as many minutes and says as loudly as he dares, “the universe can wait until tomorrow, Dirk. It’s blowing a fucking gale out there.”

 

‘Blowing a fucking gale’ is shorthand for The Worst Storm in Fifty Years, and neither of them are going outside.

The wind seems to pick up outside at Todd’s words, because the universe actually is listening, whether they like it or not.

 

“As my assistfriend, you should want to come outside with me.”

“As your assistfriend, I’m keeping you inside so you don’t get impaled by a flying tree branch or something.”

“Fine.” Dirk says, and pouts.

 

He sits there in silence for long enough that Todd actually unpauses Netflix, but he’s lost the thread of the movie and he can feel Dirk angsting beside him, so he pauses it again. “What’s going on, Dirk?”

“There’s a case out there just waiting for us, Todd! I can feel it.”

“And it can’t wait until the storm breaks?”

“No.”

“Fine. Okay.” Todd knows when he’s been beaten, but he also has a feeling that Dirk doesn’t quite know the  _ magnitude  _ of the storm outside. “Why don’t you head out to the car and I’ll meet you there in a minute?”

“Great. Thanks, Todd!” Dirk jumps to his feet, puts on his jacket and runs out of the apartment.

 

Todd gets a towel, puts his feet up and waits.

 

Mere minutes later, the door slams open again, and Dirk’s standing there, looking very much like a drowned rat. It would be funny (and it really kinda is), but he’s also shivering furiously.

Todd actually feels a little bit bad for the guy, which makes it hard to be smug about the whole ‘being right’ thing.

 

“You knew this was going to happen, I take it?” Dirk squeaks, furiously trying to brush his sopping wet hair out of his eyes.

“Yeah.”

“And you just decided not to stop me?”

 

Todd gives him a look that very obviously means ‘since when can I stop you from doing  _ anything?’  _ and throws him the towel.

 

“Fair point.” Dirk nods, looking distinctly jumpy, “I admit, I am a little bit impulsive at times, but I really would have appreciated a, uh,  _ heads-up  _ about the weather before I had decided to venture out into it.”

 

Todd stares pointedly at the window between them.

 

“Good point.” Dirk finishes drying off his hair and says, a little sheepishly, “Do you have anything I can wear? I wouldn’t ask, usually, of course, but I can’t feel my feet right now.”

And the way that he’s standing there, looking so bedraggled and soaked and  _ sheepish  _ does something to Todd’s heart. He’s an asshole. “Yeah. Of course. Gimme a minute.”

 

He finds his largest pair of sweatpants, a thick pair of socks and one of the Mexican Funeral t-shirts. (There aren’t many left, but his wardrobe is  _ littered  _ with them.)

 

“Thanks, Todd.” Dirk smiles brightly, accepts the clothes, and starts stripping off right in front of him.

“You, ah, going to do that right there?”

“Well, there’s no sense in dripping on any more of the carpet. You normal humans and your problems with nudity,  _ honestly.”  _

 

Dirk Gently, bare-assed naked in his living room.

He is  _ never  _ going to tell Amanda about this.

 

Dirk finishes dressing, jumps over the back of the couch and face first on the floor. Seemingly not phased, he leaps to his feet and deposits himself neatly on the couch next to Todd. “So, what were we watching?”

Todd doesn’t know whether to kiss him or kill him. “I hate you.”

“You love me.” Dirk leans his head on Todd’s shoulder, and waves at the tv frenetically. “Go on. Play!”

 

And although the rain pours down outside, the wind whistles overhead, and several mice plot a mutiny under the floorboards, inside it’s warm and dry and distinctly not murdery.

Makes a change for them, really. 

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up at the [ tumbs ](http://villainousfilmmaker.tumblr.com)


End file.
